Interview with a former resident of an Ontario women's shelter

Every years millions of dollars of taxpayer's dollars flows to women's shelter organizations.  These women's shelters work in secrecy and they are accountable to no one.  Many claim that women's shelters are nothing much more than places run by angry women who want to spread their hate about men on to other women and children. Below are excerpts from an interview with a women who was a former resident of an Ontario women's shelter.  Names have been edited from all recordings.  Listen to the audio clips of the interview and hear for yourself, just what this former resident of a women's shelter has to say about her experience in a women's shelter - funded by the Ontario Government using our tax dollars of course.

 

Pots and pots of food wasted

This former women's shelter resident spoke about how a lot of food at the women's shelter where she was staying was wasted and thrown out.   She describes how the women’s shelter brought in a cook to prepare meals for the women residents but that the cook often made food that nobody liked.  In the words of this former resident, pots and pots of food were thrown out and nobody seemed to care about it.  This is our Ontario tax dollars at work! 

Link: Pots and pots of food were thrown out at the women's shelter

 

Staff had their own kitchen and did not eat with shelter residents

This former women's shelter resident said that shelter staff did not eat with the women residents but that staff had their own special kitchen where shelter workers ate their own special food and remain segregated from the women residents at the shelter.  While shelters advertise as being friendly and helpful places for women to come to, in the opinion of many taxpayers, women's shelters have become nothing but a warehouse where women and children are processed like animals and only given better treatment if they do what the the women's shelter staff want them to do.

Link: Staff had their own private kitchen and eating area

 

Staff kept the good food and gave the leftovers to the residents

This former women's shelter resident described how shelter staff would take most of the good food and leave the residents with the leftovers and other less desirable foods.

Link: Staff kept the good food and gave residents the leftovers

 

Staff manipulated the children and made the mothers angry

This former women's shelter resident described how staff would spy on the kids and the parents and try to manipulate them.  While women’s shelter claim that men are controlling, it seems that the women who operate the women’s shelters like to manipulate and control the women and children in the shelter.

Link: Women's shelter staff manipulated children

 

Women's shelter staff said it was normal for children in the shelter

to be violent with other kids

This former resident described how her child had changed a lot and was biting, acting out and kicking other children in the shelter yet the shelter staff said this was normal and did not seem too concerned about this.   This resident could not get the shelter staff to agree that her child needed counselling.  Children who have stayed at women's shelters have reported that they witness violence and abuse by the other children as well as the women residents.  Young children have reported that "they don't like staying at the women's shelter".

Link: Staff said it was normal for child to be violent in the shelter

 

All the kids in the shelter were violent and acting out

This former women's shelter resident described how all of the children staying in the shelter were acting out and being violent with the other children.  This former resident said that it was not a proper environment for the children in the shelter as they were being exposed to violence and abuse by even the other children.  Some women have reported that children in the shelters are very angry for not being able to see their fathers.  In many cases children are taken away from their fathers and forced to remain in the women's shelter against their wishes by their angry and vindictive mothers who are using the shelter to keep the fathers from seeing the children.

Link: Kids acting out and being violent to other kids in the women's shelter

 

One child in the shelter asked why are there no daddies in the shelter

This former women's shelter resident described how she heard one of the children staying at the shelter ask why there were no daddies at the women’s shelter.  Even a small child sensed that it was not normal to be in an artificial environment where daddies are not around.  Unfortunately, women's shelters do not allow men to work in a shelter or to provide any assistance to women and children.  In most cases, unlicensed women, many of whom are from previously broken relationships and many of whom possess a hatred of men, are the only influence that these children are exposed to while they stay in the these women’s shelters.

 Link: Child asks why are there no daddies here?

 

Kids in the shelters need some fathering influence

This former women's shelter resident described how it was only women at the shelter and that there were no men present to give the children some fathering influence or to give children some sense that men do care and do want to help as well.   Even this woman thought that women’s shelters should include men working with the children so that the children can see that men care about them as well and that all men are not bad.  Of course this is not what many women who operate the shelters want children to see.

Link: Kids need fathering influence as well

 

Shelter staff was anti-father and controlling

This former women's shelter resident described staff at the women's shelter as being angry, anti-father, manipulative and controlling. Many other women who have been former residents have made similar complaints.

Link: Shelter staff was anti-father, manipulative and controlling

 

Director of the women's shelter would not return calls nor was willing

to discuss complaints about the women's shelter

This former women's shelter resident described how she met other women at a Parents without Partners (PWP) meeting in Oshawa and how the other women she met in this group did not want to talk about the same women's shelter because they had bad experiences as well.  When this woman did manage to accidentally meet one of the Directors of the shelter, the women's shelter director did not return this resident's phone calls because the resident did not have anything good to say about the shelter.  

Link: Shelter director would not return phone calls

 

Shelter workers were deceptive and manipulative

This former women's shelter resident described how she found the staff at the women’s shelter deceptive and manipulative and that the only time they offered to babysit her child was when they called police and CAS in to the shelter in an attempt to take her child away from her.  According to this former resident, women at the shelter, including staff, often did vindictive things against each other because of jealousy and selfishness.

Link: Shelter staff were deceptive and manipulative

 

Women's shelter workers invalidated this mother’s experience as a mother

This former women's shelter resident described how she felt that the workers at the women's shelter invalidated her experience as a mother with her own child.  She claimed that shelter staff did not want to listen to her and that they thought that they knew better than the mother how to take care of her child.  This mother claims that women's shelter staff concluded that she was breast feeding her baby for her personal gratification.

Link: Shelter staff invalidated my experience as a mother

 

Shelter workers have caused more abuse to her child

This former women's shelter resident described how she felt that it was the workers at the women's shelter who caused more abuse to her child when they took her child away from her for a week and put the child in with strange people in a new environment.

Link: Shelter staff caused more child abuse 

 

The Attorney Generals’ Office not helpful at all to this women

This former women's shelter resident said that she felt that the Attorney General’s Office of Ontario was not helpful and that they fed her a bunch of “crap” about the women's shelter without any idea of what was really going on inside the facilities it was referring women to.  This former women's shelter resident felt that it was her child who was the real victim as a result of her being misled by the women's shelter and the Ontario Attorney General’s Office.

Link: Attorney General’s Office not Helpful 

 

There was one “looney tunes” women's shelter resident who was sleeping around with men while in the women's shelter

This former women's shelter resident described how one women who stayed at the shelter while she was a resident was referred to as a looney tunes”.  While this woman was getting free rent and free food, graciously paid for by the taxpayers of Ontario, she was using her new found freedom to sleep around with different men.   This women's promiscuous behaviour became so bad that she was eventually kicked out of the shelter.  It is likely that many of the young children in the shelter are being exposed to these “looney tunes” types of residents.

Link: There was a looney tunes” resident who as sleeping around

 

The Ontario government funded a second facility just so that donations could be sorted and so that women could sit around and drink their coffee

This former women's shelter resident described how she felt that it was a waste of taxpayer's money for the government to fund a separate house just for the women's shelter to use to sort the abundance of donations that came in from the uninformed public and corporate sponsors.  The government funded facility which this resident referred to was called “Second Chance”

Link: The government funded a facility just for sorting donations and for women to drink their coffee

 

Women's shelter staff discriminated against some women and only

some residents were allowed donations

This former women's shelter resident described how only some of the residents were allowed to take the donations and that that there appeared to be some kind of discrimination by shelter workers.  To this resident is seemed as if getting donations depended on who you knew and who liked you. It seemed that only certain women got offered the more desirable donations sent in by corporate donators.

Link: Only some of the residents seemed to get the desirable donations

 

Kids in the women's shelter were being exposed

to bad language and hatred of men

This former women's shelter resident said that foul language was being used in front of young children by staff and the other women residents and that bad things were said about fathers.  Many fathers lose custody of their children should they say anything bad about the children's mother, but it seems that denigration of fathers in front of children is standard practice at many women's shelters.  How are children ever to get a normal, balanced outlook on men, if they are being conditioned to hate men at at early age in these women's shelters.

Link: Kids in the shelter were being exposed to bad language and hatred of men 

 

The abuse suffered by this women at the women's shelter

was worse than any abuse by former husband

This former women's shelter resident indicates that she felt more abused psychologically by the workers at the women’s shelter than she ever was by her former husband. While women's shelters keep demanding more and more money to help women, in reality, many women and children end up being abused even more in the shelter because in most cases women's shelters are being controlled by women who, in general, hate all men.

Link: Abuse by shelter worse than ex husband 

 

Women's shelter workers taught the women

that men are assholes and to not go back with them

This former women's shelter resident said that the general guiding principal that is taught to women who came to the shelters is that all men are assholes and that women should break up their relationship and marriages.

Link: Men are assholes 

 

There was never any talk of counselling for the residents – many women

resident felt forced to lie to shelter staff

This former women's shelter resident said that shelter staff never spoke about counselling for the women residents and that the only option that the women were expected to do was to break up with their partners.  Because of the intimidation and the power that the staff held over the women in the residence, many women felt that they had to lie to shelter staff about their true wishes and to make it appear that they were going along with the legal advice that was being pushed upon them.  While women’s shelters and violence against women groups promote that men are controlling and want power over the women, in reality, some of the worst forms of power and control were being exercised against women by the other women who were operating the women’s shelters.

Link: There was never an talk of counselling - women felt they had to lie

 

 The women's shelter workers have their own agenda and are not really

working in the best interest of women who need of support

This former women's shelter resident indicates that she feels that shelter staff have their own agenda and that women's shelter staff are not working in the best interest of those women needing help.  According to this former resident, she feels that the real agenda of the women’s shelter is to have women break up their relationships and to destroy their former partners.

Link: Shelter workers have their own agenda

 

 This mother and former women's shelter resident is now willing

to take on the family court and women's shelter system

This former women's shelter resident feels so let down and abused by the family court system and by the women's shelter system that she now wants to join the many other parents who now beginning to get involved and now willing to “take on the system” until it comes crashing down.  This mother has offered to be personally interviewed on videotape to be part of a film documentary on abuse of women and children by the women's shelter movement.

Link: I am now willing to take on the system